Why Do I Crossdress?

I think many of us at one time or another like to reflect on the reasons for our crossdressing.

I mean, think about it, what makes a guy put on panties and a dress and want to be pretty.  Back in my younger days, I would have written it off as some random thing that came along, like a rainstorm, but which passed away in time, and really wasn't who I was.

But now that I'm strong enough to face the possibility that perhaps it's more than just an occasional notion, and perhaps it speaks to something much deeper inside of me, I think I'm ready to recognize it, no matter where it takes me.

Theory #1:  When I was younger, I used to theorize that I was creating an ideal woman, but that I was just doing it myself.  I was shy, and lacked confidence when I was younger.  I fantasized about girls, but they seemed unattainable for some reason.  Literally, in my mind, I wanted to touch boobs, but if I were kissing a girl, I knew that it was completely off-limits.  I don't think it was, but that's how I inhibited myself.

Instead of being with a girl, I created a girl to be with, and the girl just happened to be me.  I saw her pretty panties, she touched me in all the right places, and it felt good.  On top of that, I didn't have to spend a lot of time on the phone talking to a girl about nothing.

Theory #2:  I like humiliation.  For reasons related to my upbringing, somehow I enjoy humiliation.  I want to be pointed at by a girl who sees me in panties, and sees me a less than a man.  She tells me that I'm not good enough for her, but that I can be her sissy.  She forces me into panties, and calls me names.

For some reason, I've stopped fighting the feelings of inadequacy, and have just gone with it.

Theory #3:  Deep down inside, I'm really a girl.  Looking back on my life now, I've realized several instances of feminine behaviors.  Maybe I convinced myself that a man can bake cupcakes, listen to certain music, and like pretty decorations, but the more I think about it, those were signals that somewhere inside, I am really a girl.  Sometimes others would mention it, and I'd get offended, saying that they lacked enlightenment or imagination, but now that I really think about it, maybe they were right.  Many of my behaviors were truly feminine.

Synthesis of Theories:  Or perhaps all of these things are a little true.  Maybe I'm a shy, skinny, feminine man, who likes to be humiliated, and deep down just wants to be a girl.  Life if a rich tapestry, and you can't just say, "He's a crossdresser," and it explains everything.

The reasons for my crossdressing are many.  I know I have some clues into why it's there, but the only really important thing is the fact that it is there.  It's who I am, and there's really no changing it.  I'm a sissy crossdresser, and that's just who I am.