You know, for the longest time in my life, I felt like I was going through the motions. Things just seemed boring, repetative, and bland. Get up, go to work, come home, make dinner, and repeat.
Of course there are several little pleasurable things that I fill the time with in between: movies, sports, friends, internet. No life's not a complete waste. I try to make it the best that I can, but I do find that at times I've been less than satisfied.
In particular, I remember my college years, which had some great memories, but sometimes I felt like I was doing the same thing. I wanted something more, and found myself sitting safely at the same bar with the same people, talking about the same stuff.
I was restless and dissatisfied, and yearned for something more, yet I wanted to fit in too, so I stayed smiling and talking about nothing like I always did. I think I used to blame my friends for being unoriginal and boring but really it was my fault. I was too scared to go out and explore, and on top of that, I was suppressing my feminine, crossdressing, sissy, inadequate feelings.
If only I could have faced them at that age...Oh how I dream of being 18 again and knowing that I could have become a serious crossdresser...the dream of it all...
But I know I can't go back. But I still have my present and future, and I've steadily progressed, taking little baby steps at embracing my true sissy self, and each little thing brings such excitement., pleasure and peace into my life
No comments:
Post a Comment