Oops: You Can Never Hide Your Sissy Behaviors for too Long

Originally I wanted to get caught.  I was tired of getting the ladder out to get my outfits out and having to put them away.  In the delusion of my lust, I began leaving panties and things in easy to find areas, and one day my wife actually found the panties.  It wasn't as sexy as I imagined, but it did get the truth out there.

As her reluctant acceptance of some things began to take place, my imagination was exploring other new things like: wigs, makeup, jewelry, etc.

Each time my wife found something new she would get extremely angry with threats of leaving, and threats for me to get rid of the particular items.

I think she was fine with the feminine things, but always kept asking if I was gay, and I would firmly deny it, and I was telling the truth, but in my exploration of sissy things, I began to experiment with anal stimulation.  I had bought a strapon for my wife a few years ago that she refused to use, and began to play with that.

It became a somewhat frequent activity, and each time I would carefully put it back in its box and shove it to the back of the closet again.  After a while, I began to get lazy, and just placed it by itself on the shelf in the back.

One day, while she was looking in my closet, she found it, and immediately knew.  She questioned me, and I was reluctant and embarrassed to admit that I had, in fact, been using it.  I was too embarrassed to say much, and kept avoiding answering, while I was trying to think of what to say.  Eventually, I admitted to what I was doing.  I didn't know what the consequences would be.

She was shocked and really questioned my sexuality at that point.  I thought that would be the end of the marriage for real.

She told me to get rid of it, and embarrassed, I told her that I would, (but never did.)  Time has gone by, and I think she's adjusted once again.  We've had some nice nights together as a couple, and I think the thought is out of her mind for right now.

I can't tell you how hard it was to admit to my wife that, yes, I was toying my asshole because I wanted to feel like a woman.

It would be sexier if she would fuck me with it, and have me beg to be fucked like a woman, but the reality is that her reaction was one of anger, pain and confusion.

I guess it's all how you look at something.  I see it one way, she sees it another.  I might have dodged a bullet on that one though.  I can't tell you how disillusioned she was knowing that I stuck things up my ass.