If you read my other article, you might remember that I began crossdressing right around puberty. I quickly got caught up in the sexual thrill of it all, and didn't understand where it came from, in fact, in a way I kind of denied to myself the admission that this was something that I really liked. Usually, I just played it off as a quirk, telling myself that I was truly a regular guy.
Right around college, I began to dress less, and did not want even the slightest hint of the stigma related to this hobby. Every now and then, I still would sneak into my mother or sister's drawers, but it became less and less.
When I moved out of my parents' house, I guess the new-me had truly taken over. There were no panties around to tempt me anymore, so that removed a temptation, and I just imagined myself as more of a regular guy who did regular things. At this time I began dating a few girls.
I've never really been a ladies man. I can admit that online. I was just really shy and not confident around girls. Eventually, though, I plucked up the courage and started dating a girl who would eventually be my wife.
We were married, and our sex life was pretty good for years. Still, although I had a sex partner, my sex drive was so much higher than hers, that I had a separate fantasy sex life unto my own, especially when the internet began to get good.
I was on two divergent paths. Sometimes I would get actual sex from my wife, but as we were both caught up in careers and responsibilities, sex became less.
"I'm tired from work." "I just ate, I'm full." "It's too late to do it." "We have to go visit my aunt today."
I could have had sex several times a day, but for my wife, as marriage wore on, sex became every other day, then a few times a week, and then once a week.
I'll be honest, it angered me. I was like a baby who wanted his bottle, and I was frustrated that I was married and had to go masturbate on my own a lot of the time, so I went to the internet.
At first, naked pictures of women were more than enough to do it for me. There were so many pictures of girls on the internet. Eventually, my tastes began to get a little more particular.
Usually by accidental discovery, I found different things to titillate me, and I went through a whole host of fetish categories to satisfy my lusts and curiosities.
For a while, I began to experiment with BDSM sites, and it was sexy to see a guy tie a girl up and make her suck his dick. I'll admit, I'm a pretty gentle personality, and given the years of politically correct brainwashing I've gotten from the TV, I had to say the rough treatment of the women on these sites conflicted with my sense of right and wrong.
Still, my dick didn't lie, and it thought it was great, and I found myself returning to different sites.
One day, I clicked on a picture, and as I glanced at the series that popped up, I realized that it was a girl with a strapon giving it to a guy. Disgusted, I quickly closed out the site. My male sense of propriety was offended.
"What a fucking loser," I said to myself, "What guy would let a girl do that to him?"
Little did I know that this image had started something inside me that would change me forever.
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