Marriage and the Sissy: Discovering Femdom

After I stumbled upon what I came to find out was called femdom porn, I was resistant and disgusted by the images that I sometimes came across while looking for BDSM porn.  A true revulsion and anger welled up inside of me at the images of girls with fake penises.

"Fucking bunch of lesbo dikes.  They'll never have the real thing," I said, not knowing that my strong reaction was a denial of my attraction.

But something else was happening too, to my surprise.  One day, I clicked on a photo series where a girl in leather was making a guy in handcuffs on his knees lick her pussy.

I closed it out, but my cock was rock hard.  I thought about it for a minute, and since nothing else was doing it for me, clicked on the site again.  Seconds later, I regretfully realized that I really found this completely sexy.

I went down a long path of femdom after that point.  At first a little hesitantly, and then willingly looking for women dominating guys.  After that, I began to realize that I had feelings for being dominated.

That went on for a long time, and I was still living my double sexual life: one with my wife, and one with my fantasy on the internet.  To my surprise, though, the fantasy started becoming more desirable than my reality.

I never would have thought that a fantasy would be sexier than a real girl, but it was.  I really wasn't upset anymore when my wife said, "Not tonight honey.  I'm tired."  In fact, I was a bit elated.

For years, I rarely pressed her for sex anymore, but still performed my duties sexually when she wanted.  After a while though, she began to notice that I wasn't asking her for sex very often.  She thought that I was perhaps having an affair, but I assured her that I wasn't, and after she snooped on my computer, confronted me about some pictures that I saved on there.

It was embarrassing, but luckily I didn't save any femdom pictures at that time.

I agreed to pay more attention to her, a promise which I kind of kept for a while.